Should I ?

How do you feel when you saw something which once became your passion at the past ?
I know people will call me a greedy person or a "non thankful" person.

This story started when I was in confusing months in choosing what major I would take. My first love was International Relation. it was because I wished to become a Diplomat. But then it changed into Interior Design because it is just cool to see people can make their own houses as they wished to have. It's probably an effect of watching lots of unique houses on TV. Later on , my parents wished me to become a Doctor. You know what ? actually, I don't really match with it because probably I'm not a reading girl. But I think respecting parents's wish is important. So I tried and tried but still, I didn't get it. I used to love becoming a veterinary too. I love animals.. (cats more) , except PIG -__- I hate them. I used to apply for Food Technology and Nutrition. But yet, I can't get it.

Now, believe it or not ? I am an English Literature student. 
Here I am..
I have loved English since I was in Elementary School. I won lots of prizes in English competitions too. My father once asked me whether I want to take English Literature or not.. but I said, " No, dad. it's sooo boring. learning English in my whole semester? Oh No".
and at last, Time makes me certain. I think this is my passion which I never realize.

As time passed by..
I am used to driving motorcycle through Faculty of Medicine. know what ? I'm kinda missing it. Actually in my deep deep heart, I know I want to be a doctor. I love biology sooo much. I  love environment and all the things related to health ,plants, and trees.

So, what would you say ?
Should I keep on going on my English Literature because I have had the skill since I was in Elementary School ?
or..
Should I try it next year applying in Medical school / forestry ?

Wednesday, 1 October 2014
Maulina

Enormous Rainbow

It was first days of August 2014..

I don't exactly remember what date it was held. I decided to let you go and bring my independence back.You never knew that it was really hurt. I  wish you could understand, but til now I can see nothing. The one thing I extremely afraid was when you were gone while I couldn't sleep in the middle of a night. You used to be there, accompanied me spending the night together. Making me comfortable enough to finally asleep. I was also afraid of seeing you with another girl. Fortunately, you are that far so I can't see it directly if it would be happening.

Day by day passed..
I started to know that I wasn't alone. Things got changed. I saw you turned to be a different person. I was sharing my stories, about college, new friends, family, but you wasn't that PERSON again. You were different eventhough you still flirted me with bunches of words in the air. You also said that you loved me for thousand time. But I didn't see it in you. Remember when I was begging for help at EYD task ? You were absolutely a DIFFERENT ONE with you I found in the past year. Remember when you were trying to get me ? you seemed like a hero. You helped me with lots of stuffs. Even you asked me first whether I needed any help. Now you are not that kind of boy anymore.

Those moments..
I know in my deep deep heart I miss those moments when I met you, when I spent my time with you.. watching lots of films, buying snacks all over the town. I also miss when you said, "You are beautiful, dear" unintentionally. Probably I wasn't that though when you weren't beside me.

Being in a relationship is not a good thing..
I used to say that to you at the end of our stories. Because I know that I need to focus on my dreams and my college. But now honestly I feel lonely. I think I need someone. But I don't think it's gonna work well if we together again and I don't know if I could keep on focus on my study or not. Things get complicated